I love studying God’s word – seriously! As long ago as I can remember, I knew him. Not his rules though – just him. I questioned. I argued. I complained. I asked. I listened. And – he answered. My mother said I had a make-believe friend.
I grew up on a farm and was home by myself a lot. One day when I was quite young, I was eating yellow pear tomatoes in the garden – and chatting out loud to my make-believe friend. The grass was dark green in the summer but not in the winter. Water lilies floated in the pond but marigolds grew in the garden. Baby calves romped around the barnyard close to their moms. I had never seen water lilies in the garden, or marigolds in the pond. Mama cows never had little lambs; they always had bouncy little calves. As I looked up into the sky, I considered if perhaps, just perhaps, this God or Jesus they talked about in church was really in control.
I stared into the heavens, looking for some speck of something that might be looking back at me. “Are you really there?” I felt warm goose bumps from my head to my toes. “If you are really God or Jesus and you really control all these trees and grass and animals, then you could just give me a sign and I’ll trust you and we’ll be friends forever.”
Grandma had given me a watch and it was 11:45, so I said, “If you’re really there, then just make my watch stop at 12:00 and I’ll know you are real and want to be my friend.” It didn’t seem to be such a hard thing to do if, in fact, he was in charge of everything else. Then I continued chattering about other perplexing problems, and questions, wondering why things were the way they were.
Forgetting the “deal” I offered God, I passed through the kitchen later and saw the clock. It was 3:00. My heart raced, my stomach tightened and my palms began to sweat. I was afraid to look at my watch. What if it said 3:00? I would be so disappointed. What if it didn’t? I turned my wrist and looked. It was 12:00 straight up!
An overwhelming flood of confusion, joy and tears welled up inside as my entire body got goose bumps. I didn’t have the slightest clue what I was supposed to do. But I found a new friend – treasure far greater than I would ever have imagined!
This “little deal” was my first encounter with this being who is now my beloved Father, best friend, source and resource for all things human. I can’t remember how many times I’ve begged him to just let me sit on his lap, and each time he covered me with his presence and his peace until all my angst was released and then he’d say, “Now, get up and let’s try this again.” He really didn’t care what I’d done; he cared about what I’d learned. It drove me to dive deeper.
“And you shall seek me, and find me, when you search for me with
all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:13
God wants to have a personal relationship with us, a real relationship. No matter what you’re going through, where you’ve been, what you’ve done, or what’s been done to you, know God is real and he loves you to the heavens and back. Let me show you verse by verse. It may seem a little unconventional, but so is God.